ok this is a post for everyone that im missing.. i dun care la.. whether they reading this or not, but if you read this, u better tell them to read this also.. 

aila.. 
i know, daddy not as close to you as last time.. hmm.. daddy now very busy and rarely ask and contact you to find out how are you.. my werk really tie me down and make me real effing busy.. i know you got problem, but daddy wants you to update me no matter how busy i am.. i dont want to like you to just disappear again and all will start to wondering whats wrong with you.. you only tell daddy half the story but not the full one.. why? daddy not the place where you pour out your probs meh? dont like that k.. when you dissapear, i will find you aite.. this is my promise..so plz.. dun keep it to yourself anymore.. i beg you la sei..

shira..
i think you yourself realise that, i rarely go out as group or hangout with you and wan .. you know why la? and u oways see ayu going out alone now days.. you should know the reason why i guess.. practically, work.. thats the only reason that i can tell you why im like this.. im tired and ive not enough rest.. papa promise, we go out and take crazy pictures like we use to before ok.. 

eyya aka eyqa aka kinky jr.
even im freaking busy.. i always have the time to read you blog.. for me its the only way i can get updates about you my dear adek.. hmm.. i know ou are going through alot of shittos and crappos in this point of life.. i know it is not fair or whatever for you, but abg want to advise you sumting.. this is life.. i may say it as easy but this is the fact.. we will face bull shit every moment in life.. therefore we must find the strength in fighting all these problems.. yes, u may say, im not in your shoe, therefore i feel useless and hopeless not being able to support you in your troubled waters.. i know ive been neglecting alot of stuff.. including you.. but abg promise k, abg will spend time with you once abg da settle down with my new work.. as for you, please take care of yourself, and your studies.. you know abg particular about that.. dont let it affect your studies k.. your N level is very important.. its the door step to where you wana go in life.. 

as for gf.. yours is written below..haha..

ps: girls, i love you..

ok.. work has started.. i mean real work.. working and doing the real thing..

let me tell you.. its hard.. its tiring.. time may pass by very fast but it is very tiring.. answering of calls to you may sound easy but its not.. when i get home, i cant rest.. i cant sleep.. so i just lasze around waiting for the time to sleep.. and by the time i feel sleepy will be my second day off..

so this post is for gf..
dear syg, i noe.. the one who suffer alot is you.. i can only meet you like once a week or once  two weeks.. im sorry.. its not that i dont wana meet you.. its just that my schedule is packed.. werk.. silat.. family.. and you.. i will try my best to juggle all this things in my life.. i just wana tell you that thanks for being a very, understanding, caring and loving gf.. i know you sacrificed alot just for our relationship.. without your sacrifices, we wont last long till where we are now.. if you realise, i may not show you that im missing you.. but deep in my heart, let me tell you whats inside.. i miss you alot.. i miss goiing out just the two of us.. having fun, disturbing each other, laughing our hearts out.. hmm.. i miss all those k.. i kept all those because i dont want to miss you so bad till i cant concentrate in doing the things i should do in life.. i know, people may call me selfish or whatever la.. but for me, im doing this for the long run.. for the benefit of the both of us.. you know me syg, if i do things, i always do things for the long run.. for now, i will make my self settle down at work as soon as possible.. till then, i will repay back the time that we havent been spending time with which other for quite sometime.. i promise.. love you alot.. more that ever..

your eyes glows in me..
your heart beats with me.. 
youre always behind me..
wherever i go, whatever i do..

when i close my eyes, i see you..
when i breathe, i smell you..
this shows something..
it shows, I MISS YOU!!!

haha.. well2..

lately, ive been telling myself to update this lj regularly since ive decided to use it back..
haha.. so what im gona crap in here todae? i myself oso not sure bout it.. haha..

ok well.. some pple may call me hypocrite or wat ever shit.. but fyi, i dun even give me a damn about it.. ahah. well i say so?? ive been alot of shit in this life.. and i mean real shit.. well im not trying to sae i noe more than others.. 

my attitude is simple..u need me, u jolly well come to me.. i wun even bother trying to like take iniative and ask u whats your problem.. this apply to all my casual friends.. well oni certain pple deserve that from me.. let me name it out.. my gf, my 3 beloved gerls, eyya, shira and my beloved mom.. for the rest, well have your own iniative aite.. call me selfish, well hell yeah.. ive been backstab b4 so i dun see the need to care for all this pple.. ahah.. u may sae why i care more for this pple, well they are my treasures in life.. well the pple that i really treasure..

im the type of person who u may think im arrogant or quiet or wateva u may sae.. i keep quiet but i observe every step and things that you do.. i observe and will predict what comes next.. thats me.. thats bloody me..

haha well lets put that topic aside.. enough of vengence or should is say, letting my anger out..haha.. well below, is a post for a fren of mine.. fren.. hmm .. i gues..

well, i miss my fren.. this fren is different from other frens.. well to my gf u shud noe hu this fren is.. ive known her since pri sch.. around the age of hmm shud i say 11? hmm... we understand each other inside out.. hmm.. i miss her as a fren.. our frenship died off due to some reasons.. well i shudnt say what reason.. because of that, everything in our friendship dissapear.. and dissapear.. hmm.. my 3 daughters noe and felt the process.. we were one big happy family.. and due to my error, it spoils the picture.. hmm.. well i pity the gerls for suffering.. because of me partly, their mummy has distance btwn them.. they dun get to meet their mummy often and they are not as kecoh as last time.. haiz.. sorry gerls.. its daddy fault that daddy ruin the friendship btwn me and mummy and u gerls get it.. well therefore i told my gerls, btwn me and them, share no secrets.. i noe its not the same btwn me and them and their mummy.. well we gota  stay close just for mummy.. she's busy with her sch, her love - which im happy for her.. well for gf, my daughters hav sumone new to talk to.. but it wun be the same for them. but im happy that gf understand my situation and supports me in it.. thanks syg.. and for u friend, if ure reading this, i pray for your happiness and may succeed in life.. our friendship came to a end coz of me.. haiz.. well u stay happy aite..

ok la.. enough of emoing up there.. well .. my mind is a bit of creative now.. so enjoy m creation below..


life cycles up and down..
hardhsips really make us look like clown..

treasure the moments that we soar..
cause it will never be as before..

friends do come and go..
i wonder why we let them forego..

the one we love are the one we hold..
together we shall make life unfold..